The Ghosts of Christmas

For the past few weeks we have been living in an extraordinary winter world of quite astonishing and remarkable beauty. The extreme winter temperatures created havoc for many, but it seemed that the Ghost of Christmas Present was on our side...

We were profoundly grateful to W Eves for our oil delivery last Tuesday, just in the nick of time before we ran out completely, and we were also very grateful for a window in the weather on Thursday which allowed us to collect various family members for their Christmas visit. In the midst of total travel chaos at Gatwick Airport and agaist all the odds, my niece received her own particular Christmas travel miracle thanks to Flybe.

Our Christmas was spent with friends and family (and dogs!) in warmth, with good food and wine, surrounded by the fragile beauty of a true winter wonderland, thanks to the people and events which brought everything together and made it happen.

Gratitude is a natural emotion at Christmas, and as Christmas 2010 fades into memory along with the Ghosts of other Christmases past, gratitude will remain a very strong part of that memory to carry forward into the Spirit of Christmases Yet to Come.

Setting your sights on 2011

"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them." - Henry David Thoreau

What dreams and goals do you have for 2011? December is always a good month for undertaking a "personal audit" and deciding what you would like to focus on for the coming year. What areas of your life are working well? What areas of your life could do with some improvement? Where do you want to be this time next year in your career, your relationships, your health? Where do you not want to be?

If you would like some help creating your own personal set of goals for the coming year and discovering what foundations you need to put in place, you are welcome to e-mail me at joanna@joanna-taylor.co.uk for a free goal setting exercise.

The best way to predict your future is to create it!

The perfection of uniqueness

"I would rather live in a world where my life was surrounded by mystery than live in a world so small that my mind could comprehend it." - Harry Emerson Fosdick

The trees, whose wonderful autumn colours delighted us only a short time ago, have now lost their "glory terrestrial" and, overnight, their nakedness has been magically transformed by a "glory celestial" as the first snows of winter fell.

The dogs, naturally, are enchanted by this strange element that has invaded their garden. Despite her extremely short legs, Poppy is among the most enthusiastic and manages to collect impressive quantities of snowballs in her fur from chasing the others around the lawn.

Snow has always held a fascination for me. Watching snowflakes fall is incredibly hypnotic; these countless, ethereal crystals floating so silently from the sky in their microscopic perfection. It has been said that every snowflake is unique - if that is so (and I like to believe it is!) what an absolutely astonishing mystery of nature it is that lies out there in its translucent, transforming and, ultimately, transient beauty.

Taking time to see

"Nobody sees a flower - really - it is so small it takes time - we haven't time - and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time." - Georgia O'Keeffe

Our beautiful house was once a granary, and I am very lucky to have my study facing onto the courtyard; the view of which is framed by one of the granary arches, now filled in by sliding glass doors which makes for a very peaceful, light and sunny room. Around the courtyard are some lovely trees and shrubs, much beloved by a variety of small birds whose presence we encourage by a steady supply of peanuts. The bluetits are particularly abundant and I have a huge affection for these tiny creatures whose small lives are lived out so close to our own, and yet so secretively that we cannot share much of their daily travails.

Last week, however, I was able to share for a brief time in the life of one of these tiny scraps of feathered beauty which unfortunately collided catastrophically with the big glass window of my study in its journey across the courtyard. Fortunately the client I was seeing at the time had no objection to my hurrying outside on a rescue mission - not the first time this has happened! As I scooped up this little bird very gently from the stone, it clung to my finger and sat, somewhat bemused, in the warmth of my hand. I was struck by the beauty of the colours; able to take my time to really see, as this little creature slowly recovered - amazed by the perfection of each tiny feather.

I was very grateful for this small interlude of exploration into a beauty that we are not normally privileged to see. This week set aside some time - even if it only five minutes - to really see something; a flower, a leaf or a blade of grass - and be amazed by the beauty you discover. As Henry Miller wrote, "The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself."

Looking for the silver lining

The natural world is an immense source of inspiration and metaphor. Watching the grey clouds moving ponderously across a leaden sky on this chilly late Autumn afternoon, it occurred to me that the sky could be a very interesting metaphor for our emotional state. The weather is constantly changing, just as our thoughts and emotions come and go across our mind. Like the weather, sometimes our mood can seem to be "set in" for the day - which is wonderful if we are feeling in a sunny disposition, but not so good if we are surrounded by our own personal cloud of gloom.

It is important to remember that we are not our emotions - they are not attached to us, just as the clouds are not attached to the sky. Happiness is a state of mind and, believe it or not, we do actually have a conscious control over our own state of mind; you can choose to be happy right now, in this moment - that is your decision. No person or event actually has the power to "make" us feel a particular way; we react to situations because of the way we perceive them - and in that moment there is always a choice of how we react - it is our choices that show who we truly are. Every cloud really does have a silver lining and it is up to us whether we choose to look for it.

It depends on your point of view...

Thursday 4 November is a windy, overcast day here in North Yorkshire... Many people have been commenting to me over the last few days how dark it seems, with the nights drawing in and the clocks changing. We are now coming home in the dark, and it won't be too long before we are leaving home in the dark too!
As I sit here at my desk, looking out at the grey sky, the garden is starting to look distinctly folorn as the plants begin their winter sleep. However, the view from the sitting room of the same scene has a distinctly different twist. Seen from this slightly different perspective there is a splash of wonderful colour - a stunning Agapanthus defies the dull autumn weather with flaunting blue petals; brightening up the whole aspect of the garden, catching the eye and reminding us of warmth, the lazy droning of bees and long, golden summer days.
Sometimes all we need is to look at things from a slightly different point of view.

Teachings of Dog - No 5: The Gift of Time

We were granted the gift of a whole extra hour of weekend, thanks to the clocks changing, and I enjoyed Jim Connolly's excellent blog on this subject yesterday.

Time is a precious commodity and, like water, we tend not to appreciate how precious until there is a shortage of it. Hugo is our oldest dog - at 14 we are now counting his remaining days like pearls slipping gently off a string. I'm not sure what happened to the tiny, fluffy soft-toy puppy we brought home in 1996, or where the glossy, energetic young dog has gone, who used to love the beaches in Guernsey. I remember walking along Vazon Bay one day and John saying he wished we could save a day of "young Hugo" to spend when he was old.

Hugo can no longer walk very far, but still enjoys a potter around the lawn and has a prodigious appetite for fallen apples, which he crunches up with tremendous satisfaction. He can no longer jump onto the sofa, but with a bit of assistance he can make it onto the furry beanbag which adapts itself very comfortably to his arthritic little body. Ensconced in front of the fire, he dreams dreams which make his feet twitch as if he's running once more along Vazon beach - I think maybe he spends more time as "young Hugo" than we know.

Hugo's Teachings:

• Live in the moment - today is a gift (they say that's why it's called 'the present').
• When you can no longer do what you used to do, find something better.
• Even when you are old, the younger you is still in there - somewhere.
• When life gives you an extra hour, spend it with someone you love.
• The most important things in life are love, compassion and patience... always.

Teachings of Dog - No.4

Daisy is our youngest member of staff. At just turned two, she is endearingly barmy, with a lightness of foot that always brings to mind a floating dandelion seed. Sometimes, when she is running, she will make a flying leap into the air, seemingly for no other reason than sheer joy of living.

I had to take her to the vet's on Wednesday for her annual injection; a procedure to which she took grave exception, nobly demonstrated when she was volubly sick all over the consulting table. I expected that when we arrived home she would be a bit quiet, but no - apart from a tendency to demand more cuddles, she was her own, tiny dancing self again.

Daisy's teachings:

• Live in the moment.
• Dance whenever you have the opportunity.
• Forgive all and bear no grudges.
• When you feel like you want a cuddle - ask.

Teachings of Dog - No.3

Theo the schnauzer has to be one of the most ebulliently joyful creatures with whom it has been my pleasure to share my life. His sheer boundless enthusiasm and wanton curiosity for just about anything in his universe is a lesson in itself. He'll be gratefully appreciative of any gift you care to give him (even if you personally wouldn't consider it a treat - raw potato or spinach accidentally dropped will be happily accepted) and gives in return his abundant happiness and pleasure in your company. He also knows everything there is to know about relaxation and makes the best relaxing noises I've ever heard... his favourite place to be is cuddled up on the sofa with as many of his friends (human and canine) as will fit.

Theo's teachings:

• Be grateful for everything you receive. Everything.
• Show your friends how much you appreciate being with them.
• Learn how to relax...
• Joy is an attitude of mind - it comes from within.
• Enthusiasm and curiosity make your world an amazing place to live.

Teachings of Dog - No.2

Lily, as her name suggests, is a white dog. Well, usually she is white, but occasionally some other colours creep in to add a little variety...

Last weekend John gave the lawn what was hopefully one of the last cuts of the season, but the grass was terribly wet and the mower left clumps of wet cut grass all over the lawn. The dogs were all very excited about the fact that we were in the garden and decided to have a very mad game of chase. When Lily came in, her feet were a bright, fluorescent green...

Another of Lily's passions is coal - for some reason she adores it and can't resist eating small pieces from the coal bucket (quite a feat if it's a bit empty - she's a small dog - we've just never had the heart to stop her!). Always a bit of a giveaway, however, when she wanders innocently into the office - with black whiskers and black tips to her ears...

Lily's teachings:

• Let go once in a while - forget about your appearance and have fun!
• Do whatever it takes to achieve your goals (or coals, in Lily's case), even if you might have to put up with others thinking you look stupid.
• Sometimes things might have an alternative use which nobody else has considered.
• Weirdness is what individuality is all about. You are always free to be weird whenever you want to be.

Teachings of Dog - No.1

I learn a lot about rapport and tolerance from watching our five dogs, and I wanted to share some of my learnings with my Blog readers.

The first in the series comes from Poppy - a diminutive Lhasa Apso of endearing temperament and enormous character. When she first came to us she had very sore feet due to a chronic infection. After the dogs have been out in the garden, if their feet are wet and muddy then we dry them on a towel before allowing them out of the kitchen, but Poppy could not tolerate this at all as she found it too painful. However, she didn't like having wet feet, so she worked out a way to solve the problem... Now, if we put the towel down on the floor, she will dry her own feet by scratching around in the towel (which she also finds great fun!).

Poppy's teachings:

• There is always more than one way of achieving your outcome - pick the one that is the most fun.
• Don't just complain about something you don't like - ask yourself if it is possible for you to do anything about it and, if so, take responsibility and take action.
• What activities do you really enjoy which you can use in another context?

Friday's Poetry Corner

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light;
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams.
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

William Butler Yeats

Mid-Week Inspiration

"To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic, it is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness.
What we choose to emphasise in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places - and there are so many - where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning-top of a world in a different direction.
And if we do act, in however small a way, we don't have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvellous victory." - Howard Zinn

More Choice is better than No Choice

"If you want to make the right decision for the future, fear is not a very good consultant." - Markus Dohle

HOW DO YOU decide what course of action to take when presented with a difficult decision? It's interesting how often fear guides our choice of direction - fear of losing one's security, or of rejection, or what others might think. Fear reduces our choices and takes away our power to feel in control of a situation; when we are fearful we are at the "Effect" side of the Cause-Effect equation - a victim of circumstances. This is when we can find ourselves making excuses and blaming others for our situation - no wonder we don't feel in control, because we are not! Does this lead to a bold, balanced or useful decision? Not usually!
Now take a moment to wonder what could happen when we are able to consider our options without associating with those feelings of fear, or other negative emotions such as anger, which can also cloud our judgement? This effectively takes us to the other side of the equation - the "Cause" side. With the Cause side comes taking responsibility; and when we take responsibility then we take control - our decisions can then be made from a grounded position of strength and boldness, and instead of reaction we have a true choice.
Pay attention to the underlying thoughts behind your decisions today... are you operating from the Effect side, or are you at Cause? Many useful techniques exist to help us to move from Effect to Cause - NLP, Memory Resolution, self-hypnosis, Sedona, EFT... to name just a few. More choice is always better than no choice!

Stopping to Smell the Roses

Richard Bandler, in his book "Guide to Trance-Formation", has the following to say on the subject of happiness: "Living happily entails paying attention to and enjoying the process of doing whatever it is you happen to be doing... You learn to be happy by following the old adage about stopping to smell the roses, but you have to enjoy looking at them, and touching them, and walking by them, and everything else about them. You can learn to enjoy everything. You can learn to enjoy sleeping, and waking up, and making breakfast, and going to work. The more things you make pleasant, the happier life will be."

Double Your Weirdness

Thanks to a post which my friend Maria made recently on Linked In, (thanks, Maria - you've inspired me once again!) I've just signed up to Bill O'Hanlon's newsletter and now half-way through the first of his e-books which he sends as a thank-you for subscribing... If you are in the mood for some inspiration, go and see! (I might add that this is at 6.45am - that's how good this is - and I've only stopped reading it so I can post this.)
I love Bill O'Hanlon's books (of which I have several) and somehow I didn't realise he had a website and a whole treasure-trove of things out there - I really hope he comes back to the UK sometime soon so I can hear him speak. At least now I have a chance of finding out through the newsletter!
Now - back to the book... although I think I may have to give the dogs their breakfast first!

It's the little things that make the difference...

"In the hopes of reaching the moon, men fail to see the flowers that blossom at their feet." - Albert Schweitzer.

Today I am making sure I take time to appreciate the small things that bring happiness to my day.

What have you planted today?

"Of all the wonderful things in the wonderful universe, nothing seems to me more surprising than the planting of a seed in the blank earth and the result thereof." - Julie Moir Messervy

You just can't not smile...!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/8026592.stm

New Shoes and Happiness

A lovely quote from Theodor Fontaine for anyone considering a little shoe-related retail therapy this holiday weekend: "Happiness, it seems to me, consists of two things: first, in being where you belong, and second - and best - in comfortably going through everyday life; that is, having had a good night's sleep and not being hurt by new shoes."

Inspiration for Wednesday

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive." A wonderfully inspiring thought from Howard Thurman. What can you do today that makes you come alive?

Happiness Is....

... Theo, Lily and Poppy - happiness experts.

Happiness Quote for Friday

"Gratefulness is the key to a happy life that we hold in our hands, because if we are not grateful, then no matter how much we have we will not be happy, because we will always want to have something else or something more." - David Steindl-Rast

Happiness Quote for Tuesday

"Everything is material for the seed of happiness, if you look into it with inquisitiveness and curiosity. The future is completely open and we are writing it from moment to moment. There always is the potential to create an environment of blame - or one that is conducive to loving kindness." - Pema Chodron

A transformation from out of the depths...

One evening recently we were out in the garden with the dogs before retiring for the night, and we noticed a strange exodus occurring around the margins of the pond... well over a dozen dragonfly larvae were clambouring laboriously from the green depths, out into the dusk; finding themselves in an entirely new and unfamiliar environment. The underside of a leaf, or perhaps a stem of an iris was to be the scene of a remarkable transformation, undertaken during the hours of darkness, as each of these little creatures struggled to escape the confines of the hard, armoured casing that had protected it for so long.

In the morning, when I crept out to see, the early rays of sunlight glittered and shimmered from a myriad gossamer wings held out to dry before, one by one, these delicate, ethereal creatures launched themselves into the world to explore their new capabilities; just discovered, and which had been there all along. Who would think, looking at the strange, dry, empty cases still clinging to the leaves and stems around the pond, that within lay such breathtaking beauty and elegance?

A New Venue

The last few months have seen new venues all round; a new dental practice in Scarborough, followed by a new house and also a new therapy consultation room. We are now also very excited to have found a stunning new venue for seminars and courses, right on our new doorstep; Wydale Hall near Brompton by Sawdon is a wonderfully peaceful spot and I am looking forward to meeting lots of new people on the two Self-Hypnosis courses I have arranged for this September. (More details of those on the website.)