The Teachings of Dog - No 13: The Art of Giving and Receiving

"Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth, 'You owe me'.  Look what happens with a love like that - it lights the whole sky."  - Hafiz of Persia 

Lily and her canine colleagues are all masters of the art of unconditional giving - and of receiving. Lily will happily spend long periods of time patiently cleaning Poppy's eyes, or Theo's ears - and they, in their turn, will happily let her. As a puppy, when teething, Theo would chew enthusiastically on his mother, Lily's, ears, while she lay patiently, not seeming to mind the soggy outcome, or the subsequent crispiness of dried, licked fur.


What happens when we give somebody a gift, or an offer of help...  Do we expect something in return?  Are we offended if the person receiving it doesn't like our gift, or chooses to give it away again to somebody else?  The Aborigines would say, if we have that sort of attachment to a gift, then it is not a gift at all, it is something else.  If it is a true gift then it is given unconditionally; we should not mind at all what the other person chooses to do with it, and certainly have no expectation of receiving anything in exchange.

And when somebody offers us a gift, do we receive it graciously and with gratitude - or do we feel beholden to the giver and consider that we have to reciprocate in some way?  When we accept a gift with genuine gratitude we are already giving something back to the giver - the gift of true appreciation.

The meaning of communication is the response you get

It has often been said that, in any communication, the words that are used are of vastly less importance than the tone of voice and the body language of the person speaking.  (Notice how many different meanings you can make to the phrase "good morning" depending on how you say it!) 

Long after someone has forgotten precisely what words you used, they will remember how you made them feel.  How are you making your clients feel?  Your friends?  Your family?  Your partner?  Would you rather be remembered as a kind person, or someone who always has to be right?  Sometimes it is good to think a moment before speaking, and imagine how your communication might be received; how would it make you feel?

Notice what happens in your communications when you focus more on the feelings of the other person than the importance of your own words.  Listen more than you speak, with kindness and compassion, and feel your kindness and compassion being reflected right back to you.

Using the gift of your past, in the present, to create your future...

"With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift.  Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing.  You get to choose."

- Dr Wayne Dyer

Right now is the only moment available to you for change and growth.  In this moment, are you being a victim of circumstance, or are you being master of your own destiny?  When we blame circumstances or other people, make excuses, give way to negativity, we are giving away our personal power.  Take responsibility for your reality; what decisions have you made in the past that have created the circumstances of your world as it is today?  What is there to learn from those decisions?  What decisions can you take today that will influence how you can create your wonderful future?

Paying Attention

"I noticed tonight that the world has been turning, while I've been stuck here dithering around."                                                                                                                        

Keane

It's interesting how things change, when you are not looking...  Yesterday John and I went into the phone shop in Scarborough to investigate upgrading our Blackberry phones, which we have had for a couple of years.  I remember being totally amazed, when they were new, that we could receive e-mails and look at the internet, but in those two short years the developments in phone technology have been truly phenomenal.  We had no idea how much had changed, until we started to look...

Nature also produced the same miracle for me this week.  I've been co-training on the first module of the Diploma in Clinical Hypnotherapy Course up in Saltburn.  Leaving home at 7am each day to travel over the Moors, threading my way through the mist and between the sheep, is always a good way to start the day; and the return journey is a lovely way to wind down, watching the sunset colours spread across the sky.  Leaving home early and arriving back late, however, meant that I missed the developments taking place in my garden.  I was astonished, on Friday evening, to discover filmy petals of blossom adorning the plum tree, where only tight little green buds had been the last time I looked; and in the pond a beautiful, glutinous mass of spawn bore witness to the night-time activities of the frogs.  I felt as if Nature had moved on an installment without me.

What remarkable changes are wrought in our world, when we are not paying attention!  Take a look around at your own world, and notice what has been happening while your attention was elsewhere...