The meaning of communication is the response you get

It has often been said that, in any communication, the words that are used are of vastly less importance than the tone of voice and the body language of the person speaking.  (Notice how many different meanings you can make to the phrase "good morning" depending on how you say it!) 

Long after someone has forgotten precisely what words you used, they will remember how you made them feel.  How are you making your clients feel?  Your friends?  Your family?  Your partner?  Would you rather be remembered as a kind person, or someone who always has to be right?  Sometimes it is good to think a moment before speaking, and imagine how your communication might be received; how would it make you feel?

Notice what happens in your communications when you focus more on the feelings of the other person than the importance of your own words.  Listen more than you speak, with kindness and compassion, and feel your kindness and compassion being reflected right back to you.

Using the gift of your past, in the present, to create your future...

"With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift.  Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing.  You get to choose."

- Dr Wayne Dyer

Right now is the only moment available to you for change and growth.  In this moment, are you being a victim of circumstance, or are you being master of your own destiny?  When we blame circumstances or other people, make excuses, give way to negativity, we are giving away our personal power.  Take responsibility for your reality; what decisions have you made in the past that have created the circumstances of your world as it is today?  What is there to learn from those decisions?  What decisions can you take today that will influence how you can create your wonderful future?

Paying Attention

"I noticed tonight that the world has been turning, while I've been stuck here dithering around."                                                                                                                        

Keane

It's interesting how things change, when you are not looking...  Yesterday John and I went into the phone shop in Scarborough to investigate upgrading our Blackberry phones, which we have had for a couple of years.  I remember being totally amazed, when they were new, that we could receive e-mails and look at the internet, but in those two short years the developments in phone technology have been truly phenomenal.  We had no idea how much had changed, until we started to look...

Nature also produced the same miracle for me this week.  I've been co-training on the first module of the Diploma in Clinical Hypnotherapy Course up in Saltburn.  Leaving home at 7am each day to travel over the Moors, threading my way through the mist and between the sheep, is always a good way to start the day; and the return journey is a lovely way to wind down, watching the sunset colours spread across the sky.  Leaving home early and arriving back late, however, meant that I missed the developments taking place in my garden.  I was astonished, on Friday evening, to discover filmy petals of blossom adorning the plum tree, where only tight little green buds had been the last time I looked; and in the pond a beautiful, glutinous mass of spawn bore witness to the night-time activities of the frogs.  I felt as if Nature had moved on an installment without me.

What remarkable changes are wrought in our world, when we are not paying attention!  Take a look around at your own world, and notice what has been happening while your attention was elsewhere...

The Green Shoots of Recovery

In the front courtyard, we have a large ceanothus shrub growing up one of the walls.  In the summer it is a magnet for bees, who adore the tiny, bright blue flowers which nestle amongst the glossy green leaves.  It is certainly a thing of great beauty. 

This last winter, however, dealt harshly with our beautiful ceanothus.  Various people advised us that it was dead and there was speculation on several occasions as to the logistics of its removal.  I remained just as convinced that it was still living; to my own eye, it was obvious just looking at the trunk and branches, even though no green leaves remained to lend proof to my theory.

The wonderful warm, spring days of the last week have now wrought the miracle I knew was there.  Tiny, green shoots have started to appear from the trunk as our ceanothus again burgeons into abundant life, to await the visitations of bees once the flowers follow, as surely they will.

Don't give up on your dreams and goals just because someone else has a different opinion; do whatever it is that makes you come alive.

Spring is a time for new beginnings

Yesterday was a very auspicious day for me, and the fulfillment of one of my personal goals. From later on this month, I am going to be working alongside two of the most incredible teachers I have ever met, training wonderful people in the beautiful art and science of hypnotherapy, at their school in Saltburn.

I began my own journey into hypnosis and NLP with Craig and Susi a number of years ago and I am very proud to announce that Joanna Taylor & Associates can now offer training in the Hypnotherapy Society Accredited Diploma in Clinical Hypnotherapy, in association with Dr Susi Strang & Associates.

As the saying goes, "The best way to predict your future is to create it." What futures are you creating today? Now is the only moment we have in which to make a difference. If you haven't set any goals yet for your future, now is the time to do that. As you watch the garden coming to life in springtime abundance, consider that this may be a time to think about your own new beginnings, too!

The Teachings of Dog - No 12: What sort of seeds are you sowing?

It's been a beautiful spring weekend here in North Yorkshire. The garden is beginning to come to life and small green shoots are thrusting their way through the bare brown soil - the weeds as well as the garden plants...

Amongst the canine members of staff, Snippets has discovered yet another new joy in life; mysterious holes have started to appear around the base of the fern by the mint bed... Snippets will return to the kitchen with suspiciously muddy paws, tail waving happily and a big smile on her little woolly face.

As the weather improves, the dogs enjoy spending more and more time exploring in the garden. A couple of days ago, this resulted in an exciting and illicit adventure as, unbeknown to me, the back gate through to the adjacent farm yard and fields had been left open...

Theo was the first to return, appearing at the back door with all four legs decorated with a festival of burrs which lent him a rakish and somewhat bizarre appearance. Tutting as to where on earth in the garden he could have collected this unwelcome harvest, I set to work removing them, and only after a few minutes did it dawn on me that the rest of the garden was suspiciously quiet and alarmingly dog-free...

Leaping out of the back door, I found the back gate wide open and, looking through, saw the four other staff members joyfully romping among the stalks of last year's burdock, diligently collecting the dried seed heads in their fur. They were quite delighted to see me, running back into the garden and bringing with them their sticky velcro harvest for me to remove from feet, legs and tails.

Theo, Lily, Snippets, Poppy & Daisy's Teachings:

Negative thoughts and beliefs can be compared to the seeds of the weeds that flourish in an uncared-for garden. As these beliefs and thoughts are planted in the mind, so they may grow and flourish, spreading quickly from one mind to another.

Take note of what seeds you are picking up from the world around you - what thoughts and beliefs do you choose to allow to take root in your mind? What seeds are you sowing in the minds of others? Remember that the seeds of happiness, kindness, compassion and love will always bear a good harvest.

What is Happiness?

"No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven in the human spirit." - Helen Keller

The Oxford English Dictionary defines happiness as "feeling or expressing joy", but what actually is it and how do we get there? I think nearly everybody knows what it feels like to have an absence of happiness, and this is what drives me in my work - I like to share with people the ideas that transformed my own life and made my seeds of happiness flourish, in the hope that it will do the same for others.

Most people seem to spend their time living and starring in their very own scary film - their lives are so full of worrying about what bad things might happen that they forget that there are a lot of good things which are just as likely to happen.

In the village where we used to live, in the North Yorkshire Moors, there are a lot of free-range sheep who wander the lanes. Sometimes, when I was out walking the dogs, we would come across a group of three or four sheep as we rounded a corner. At first, the sheep would ignore us and carry on eating the grass, but as we approached, they would lift their heads and stare. As we came even closer, the matriarch would stamp her foot and, with a sardonic "baaaa!" they would all canter off down the lane for a few metres, their little hooves beating a staccato rhythm on the tarmac of the road, before slowing to a walk and starting to eat the grass again.

Our walk would progress in this fashion, following the sheep down the road. We would come so close - sometimes you could think you would almost be able to reach them - then at the last moment off they would go again, always just out of our reach.

This set me thinking... if you really wanted to catch the sheep - if you had a good enough reason - how would you go about it?

Happiness can sometimes seem like this - always just out of reach - always just round the corner. "I'll be happy when..." is a common motif - we forget to live in the now. We forget that, in life, the journey is the destination; life is just a series of present moments and the present moment is the only chance we have to live. Sometimes I could be so busy watching the sheep in front that I would forget to look around me and notice the beautiful, dew bejewelled flowers in the hedgerows, and the wonderful plumage of the partridge on the gate, frozen into immobility at our passing.

So - if I did want to catch the sheep, then how would I go about it? I have some of the resources I need - arms and legs, even a dog! But without the knowledge of sheep I'd never catch them; they would remain forever elusive, always cantering off a few metres ahead of me. And that, to me, was the key - all I needed was learing, and there is always a shepherd to teach the skills you need.